The Trouble of Love
by Millenia7
Summary: A Kakashi POV story about the relationship between himself and Iruka. Based on a true story modified to fit characters and places. Pairings are IruAnko and KakaIru
1. Chapter 1

The Trouble of Love

Here I am back again with a new Fanfiction. It's quite strange how I'm putting out fics like this. I mean with the pairings and all. I am a rabid KakaIru shipper, but for some reason IruAnko keeps slipping in here. I don't even read IruAnko fanfictions. Weird. Well, anyway, this fic is going to be a three parter. I don't know why, but that's the way I decided it to be. I didn't expect this first chapter to be so short but hopefully the next one will be a little longer.

Pairings: IruAnko with the scent of KakaIru in the air

Disclaimer? Well what's there to say? I don't own anything here. 'Cept maybe the plot which is kinda true, modified to fit the characters and place. But based off a true story. And it DIDN'T happed to a friend of a friend of mine.

Enjoy!

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Kakashi didn't understand people. They were always so uptight, worrying about everything and always fussing about with things to be done. He just didn't understand why people were like this. It was a curious thing.

Iruka was an intriguing person. He would fuss and worry over work, his loved ones, friends, life, the children, the village, himself and everything else he could possibly worry about. Most probably in that order as well. Kakashi was drawn in by this. He wanted to know why Iruka was like this and he wanted to understand how he thought.

Iruka had let him seep into his world easily. Although he couldn't say they had a bond of any sort. They were just friends.

In summer they would go down to the river in the blazing heat and spend the day in the cool water, chatting, splashing, and fighting in the clean water. Occasionally Anko, Asuma, Kurenai, Genma and sometimes Hayate would accompany them.

In winter, they would stay indoors and watch movies, wrapped in blankets and a cup of coffee or tea in hand.

Bonds were for real friends. They were for real friends who talked and shared thoughts, and secrets. But they were just friends so they didn't have to feel lonely for another day or, more realistically, so they forget they were lonely.

Kakashi tried hard to believe that it was good like this. He told himself that this was all he could ever want from Iruka, but knew better than to think like that.

He realised that in summer when they were in the cool water swimming around, he would take glances at Irukas tanned chest and how his shorts we slightly lose so they would slip slowly down to the peaks of his hips before Iruka would hike them up again.

And in winter when they were watching movies all wrapped in blankets and the air slightly chilli, he noticed the flush over Irukas cheeks as his body tried to warm him. He noticed Irukas lips as they licked away a dribble of tea and the way he licked the cup to keep a drip soiling his blanket. His hands would linger over Irukas as they compared how each others' were.

But as easily as the thoughts invaded him and his curiosity grew of Iruka, he shrugged it off and decided he would think upon it another time. He just procrastinated on thinking about it over and over again. It didn't matter either way he thought and he was convinced it didn't.

Though through his years spending time with Iruka he realised Iruka wasn't happy the way he was even though they spent so much time together. All they did was have fun, relax and let go. Wasn't that enough? Obviously not. What was missing?

That answer had come not long after he first asked himself that question. And the answer was 'love'. He cringed at the thought. Not that it was a bad thing but it bought up some painful memories he didn't wish to think about. It was in the past, it doesn't matter anyway.

Iruka had fallen love and finally Kakashi felt at peace. He felt like he didn't need to try so hard to keep Iruka company. Iruka had love now and it was caring for him more than he ever could. Although Kakashi was a little disappointed that he couldn't do that for Iruka. That he wasn't enough to keep Iruka happy and it hurt. But he didn't mind the pain, it didn't matter anyway. Iruka was happy now and that's all that mattered.

It was a strange match though but a match none-the-less. Iruka and Anko were good together he could see it in Irukas face.

Kakashi saw him regularly, but not nearly as much as he used to, which he thought was going to be good. He would be able to get more missions done and a bit more cash in the pocket to use for updating his sore and battered looking kitchen. But it wasn't going as well as he had first thought it was going to.

His mind, now not as distracted as it used to be would wander to those thoughts that had been stashed away for another day. Stress was building on him slowly and he swore it was driving him insane. Kakashi took a week long mission to keep his mind from destroying him.

On his return he found Iruka sitting on his door step, looking worse for wear. Kakashi stepped up to his friend, looking down on him with a kind face. "Yo!" He called with a weary voice, even though he was worried as to why he was there in the first place.

"Kakashi" Iruka stood, smiling "Welcome back" He looked and sounded relieved at that.

"Thankyou" Kakashi returned "Why are you sitting on my doorstep? Something happen?"

He was always the 'straight to the point' guy. There was no letting it just simmer until one of them couldn't take the heat anymore and there was definitely no games when it came to Irukas happiness. Iruka hesitated.

"Anko's gone." Irukas face twisted. He clenched his teeth and hands. He was trying not to lose it. Iruka was unstable. Kakashi again began to feel that need to be Iruka, to keep him company, to protect him.


	2. Chapter 2

The Trouble of Love [Revised Edition]

Oh my where did all this extra text come from? After a couple of solid years of killing plot faeries because they weren't doing their job properly, i decided to keep one and see where it would take me.

I know i'm not the best writer in the world, but i'm trying, so if you think my first chapter needs a revision, let me know and ill try to see what i can do, otherwise please enjoy this revised and extended second chapter.

Disclaimer: Does anyone do these things anymore? They're totally stupid.

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"Anko's gone." Irukas face twisted. He clenched his teeth and hands. He was trying not to lose it. Iruka was unstable. Kakashi again began to feel the strong desire to protect Iruka, to keep him company and to make him smile again.

"What?! How.. -Why?!" Kakashi exclaimed, both confused and worried, as to what Iruka meant by those words and how he would react to the answer. Possibilities ran through his head, a thousand scenarios, and he wanted to know before he got carried away with it.

Iruka had gained control of himself for the time being, it seemed. He was no longer struggling like he was before and he seemed completely calm and unbothered on the surface. "She went on a long term mission two days ago. She won't be back for at least a year." Kakashi felt a little relieved that she was only on a mission and not… Well, you know - Dead. But still. Iruka really depended on Anko to be there for him and for her to be suddenly wrenched away like that, well, it's going to be hard for him. He knew it. He noted Iruka's clenched fists, his knuckles white and arms taught.

"Oh - I see." He said kind of awkwardly, he wasn't much of a comforter, and he felt weird giving sympathy so he tried to help Iruka take his mind off of it. "Would you like to hang out tonight then?" So there he went, offering his company and letting his life away. But he didn't mind, after all it was Iruka, and Iruka was important to him. Iruka smiled at him but waved him away "Its okay I don't want to impose. You've just been on a mission and I'm sure you just want to get some rest."

"It's fine, I've got all week off, I can get sleep whenever." He argued back, even though it wasn't entirely true as he had only tomorrow off but he didn't want Iruka to be thinking of him. He wanted Iruka to forget about Kakashi for once and do what he wanted. He was willing to go that far for Iruka, and then some. Iruka was persistent though "No, no, its fine. I'm okay I just wanted to let you know." And like usual Kakashi let it go. Maybe all Iruka needed was a little time on his own.

"I'll catch up with you tomorrow then?" This was always Kakashi's strategy, if not today, then tomorrow. "Okay, I'd like that." And it never failed.

After Iruka left, Kakashi couldn't help but feel worried. Iruka was hiding from him still even though Kakashi had given him more that enough reason to trust him. Maybe it was just one of those things. But still he had to be sure. Kakashi didn't go to bed like he had planned and instead went out on a little mission of his own.

He had arrived at Irukas little house via jumping over the neighbours fence and silently tiptoed around the walls. He came to a small lit window and with care he slowly positioned himself so he could see in but he wouldn't look to obvious with the light pouring out into the garden. His chest strained, spotting Iruka hunched over his desk, with his face in his hand. He was side on from him and he could clearly see the tears streaming down his face. He was sure if the window was open he would hear the gasps of air he was taking while sobbing. A lump raised itself in his own throat, pained to see Iruka like this, even though he was trying his best to help Iruka. Soon Iruka had calmed and Kakashi didn't move an inch as Iruka pulled himself away from the desk suddenly and walked out into his living room. Only after he was sure Iruka was gone he moved to the next window, again carefully placing himself in the near-by foliage to mask his presence. This time Iruka was sitting on his feet in the middle of his wooden floored lounge. He swiftly pulled a Kunai from his halter and imbedded it into the floor in front of himself. He lowered his head towards the floor. What was he doing? A prayer? For Anko? Could be.

Everything from there was all in slow motion. As Iruka rose from his bow Kakashi noticed first the streams of tears that were running down his face. But it wasn't that that had sent his heart into his throat in fear. There was a glimmer as Iruka gripped his kunai with both hands and held it to the side of his stomach closest to Kakashi's view. By then Kakashi had already disappeared from his spot in the bushes and was re-appearing behind Iruka as he began his sideways thrust across his midsection. Kakashi instantly restrained both of Iruka's arms while in the process flinging the Kunai from his grip and pulling him up to stand. Iruka did nothing in a few stunned seconds and then began to sag in Kakashi's grip. He shuddered with silent grief as his knees hit the floor. Kakashi sank with him, kneeling behind him with a protective embrace. He held onto Iruka while he broke down.

This was much worse than he had ever thought it could be. He had thought that Iruka was just a little lonely and that by him being there he could help to abolish that feeling. But Kakashi realised that when it came to feelings that he didn't know Iruka at all.

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Later that evening, Kakashi waved jovially as he stumbled down the steps to the owner of the bar as he ushered out the remaining of his customers and began to lock up. A couple of familiar faces were amongst the crowd, including an-ever-so chipper Asuma and Kurenai, who seemed to be rather unusually 'comfortable' with each others company tonight. He felt rather awkward being around that kind of affection, feeling like a third wheel so he mostly kept to himself, sitting at the bar on his own, to let them have some time of their own.

And Asuma came towards him at a quick pace, his arm around Kurenai on one side, pulling her along with him and she protested half heartedly with a slurry giggle and when he caught up to him he grabbed him with his other arm in the same fashion with a greeting that seemed like they hadn't seen each other in years. "Kaaaaakaaashiiiii, my old buddy!" He did exclaim loudly, even though they had been chatting in the bar not that long ago, but Kakashi did grin even though you couldn't see it "Asummaaaa, you old rascal~!" He said equally loudly and slurry, even though he didn't think it was like that, but instead Kakashi joined in with strange banter between himself and his old friend.

*flashback*

Kakashi had found himself seated at the bar with a drink in hand. Even though he had left deep in thought just to get some air and get away from everything that had just happened for awhile, his walk ended up across the other side of town, pushing the normal light wooden doors that had suddenly become stone pillars and slamming down the first drink he got as fast as he could that was followed closely by two more. It didn't take long for someone that knew him to snap him out of his trance, which was Asuma slapping his hand onto his shoulder, cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth. "Heeeey Kakashi! I thought you were still posted on night duty for tonight, what happened?" He said in high spirits, probably having already sunk a few drinks before Kakashi had arrived. Kakashi put on a 'normal' Kakashi face, and when I say face I mean 'eye', of cheerful mischievousness. "Ah, I got relieved early"

Kakashi didn't really want to reveal too much information to Asuma because he knew how naturally good he was at prying information from people unawares, so he kept it short and sharp. "Something happen?" all of Asuma's attention was on Kakashi, dead serious, and Kakashi inwardly felt irate that his 'normal Kakashi face' had obviously betrayed him.

Kakashi turned to the fresh drink in front of him, wiping the ruse off he face and swirled the dark liquid around the glass, ice chinking lightly. "Should have known you'd see though me… " his voice was nonchalant with a hint of the heavy depression he was feeling. "Trust me, if you were on this side of the conversation, you would see it wasn't hard… So, what's up?" Asuma ordered a drink quickly and Kakashi could feel his eyes watching his every move. He took a deep breath and told Asuma all that had happened that night.

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As Kakashi slid to the floor in sync with Iruka with his arms around him gently while the younger man crumbled emotionally, he couldn't help but still feel the panic even though the danger had passed. What if he hadn't followed him home? What if he hadn't seen the kunai? What if? What if? And he felt his arms and shoulders begin to shake as it all sunk in with his mind running at a hundred miles a second as what had just happened in the last few seconds. It took all the strength in his body to keep from joining the Chuunin out of shock.

Kakashi just knelt there with Iruka as he wailed uncontrollably doubled over shaking with grief. He gathered his thoughts as they both sunk into a heap on the floor, and Kakashi took Iruka into his arms and pulled him into his lap, while Iruka clung to him too afraid to let go.

They stayed there for hours, while Iruka poured his soul out through the broken sounds of the fits of tears, until eventually his breathing became constant and shallow as he fell into what seemed to be a much needed sleep. Kakashi sat there eyes wide and dry while he ached all over from sitting so still, Iruka sitting in his lap sideways, his face buried into the side of his neck with his mouth slightly ajar, warm breath on his neck.

If it were not for being in the circumstances as they were in, somewhere else, at another time, he could have enjoyed having what seemed the centre of his universe cuddled up into his lap just for him. But instead he picked the bundle up in his lap, climbed out the now broken window of Iruka's apartment, and headed off a quick as he could to the village hospital.

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Kakashi chugged down another drink in a split second that Asuma happened to have not been paying attention. "And so, of course, I had to make special arrangements with the Hokage-sama to keep Iruka under observation for awhile… Y'know… After all that's happened." Asuma nodded understandingly. And at that moment, another familiar face had appeared next Asuma. Kurenai, pouted at Asuma playfully "This is where you've run off to – you've been gone for some time now, I was wondering if you were coming back!"

Both men changed their moods drastically to make out they were having a good time, grinning at one another and then her "Ah, sorry, sorry, I just ran into Kakashi here, and you know what I'm like – I just can't stop talking!" He laughed whole heartedly. "And here I thought you had forgotten me" She whined with a giggle. The red tinge on her face showed she'd had quite enough to drink. "Oh not at all! In fact, I was just coming back." Asuma scratched the back of his head, turning to Kakashi after she had gone back to their table, "Women, huh?" He grinned sheepishly. Kakashi chuckled "Go get her tiger" He said jokingly and Asuma left the bar to go join her.

Kakashi turned back to his empty glass and sighed. He spent the rest of the night staring at the small TV above the bar and looking though an old newspaper, even though they both had no use to him other than making him look normal. He wouldn't want to seem miserable to others in the bar. The last thing he wanted was the whole village whispering about him, and spreading all sorts of rumors, on top of all the stress of today's activities.

*/flashback*

Kakashi made it home in one piece, after tripping up the steps to his apartment, and taking a tumble when Asuma tripped and comically dragged Kakashi with him onto the muddy road. It got him dirty, but at the same time he felt a little better. But maybe that was because of the alcohol. It didn't matter.

Taking off his mud covered clothes and throwing them into the laundry, he changed into a pair of dark slacks and white shirt. He sat down on his bed with a big sigh and put his face into his hands. He rubbed his face and then ran his hands through his hair trying to ease some of his stress before burying his face into his hands once more and quietly sobbed.

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Okay so thats the end of the extended and revised chapter, please tell me what you think, it took me awhile to try to remember what the plot i had originally set for this story ^_^"

So if its too different from the first chapter and like i said at the top of this, let me know and ill revise the first chapter too, and flesh it out a bit. I dont wanna mess with things if they're okay.

Well thanks to those who subscribed with hope that i would one day continue this lol. You are here rewarded three years later, and im going to make a start on the last chapter tonight, so *hopefully* it won't be a long wait until it is all finished

Thanks to everyone


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